!!> Reading ➶ No Happy Endings ➮ Author Nora McInerny Purmort – Loans-2006.info
Everything good in my life had a sad aftertaste Everything good in my life had come from loss Everything sweet was just a little bitter I didn t appreciate this as much as It s Okay to Laugh, McInerny s first memoir, although it s in the same style lots of short, witty but bittersweet essays reflecting on life s losses In this follow up, she writes about what happened next for her after she became a reluctant grief expert when her father, first husband and unborn baby all died in a matter of weeks Within a year of becoming a widow, she d met a new partner and soon was surprise pregnant with his baby Together they formed a blended family of four children ranging from 0 to 15 and two wounded adults Matthew had gone through a bitter divorce She also writes about her newfound spirituality and feminism The problem with the essay format, however, is that the author cycles through aspects of the same stories multiple times, such that the introduction s tongue in cheek question is this whole book going to be her complaining that she got to fall in love twice is rather apt She also couldn t figure out the lay lie distinction to save her life My sister has been greatly helped by the Hot Young Widows Club, so I m grateful to McInerny for her writing and her charitable work, but would direct readers to her first book over this one. The Author Of It S Okay To Laugh And Host Of The Popular Podcast Terrible, Thanks For Asking Interviews That Are A Gift To Be Able To Listen To New York Times Returns With Hilarious Meditations On Her Messy, Wonderful, Bittersweet, And Unconventional LifeLife Has A Million Different Ways To Kick You Right In The Chops We Lose Love, Lose Jobs, Lose Our Sense Of Self For Nora McInerny, It Was Losing Her Husband, Her Father, And Her Unborn Second Child In One Catastrophic YearBut In The Wake Of Loss, We Get To Assemble Something New From Whatever Is Left Behind Some Circles Call Finding Happiness After Loss Chapter The Continuation Of Something Else Today, Nora Is Remarried And Mothers Four Children Aged Months To Years While Her New Circumstances Bring Her Extraordinary Joy, They Are Also Tinged With Sadness Over The Loved Ones She S LostLife Has Made Nora A Reluctant Expert In Hard Conversations On Her Wildly Popular Podcast, She Talks About Painful Experiences We Inevitably Face, And Exposes The Absurdity Of The Question How Are You That People Often Ask When We Re Coping With The Aftermath Of Emotional Catastrophe She Knows Intimately That When Your Life Falls Apart, There S A Mad Rush To Be Okay To Find A Silver Lining, To Get To The Happy Ending In This, Her Second Memoir, Nora Offers A Tragicomic Exploration Of The Tension Between Finding Happiness And Holding Space For The Unhappy Experiences That Have Shaped UsNo Happy Endings Is A Book For People Living Life After Life Has Fallen Apart It S A Book For People Who Know That They Re Moving Forward, Not Moving On It S A Book For People Who Know Life Isn T Always Happy, But It Isn T The End There Will Be Unimaginable Joy And Incomprehensible Tragedy As Nora Reminds Us, There Will Be No Happy Endings But There Will Be New Beginnings Wow Nora McInery s writing style is hilarious and real She bravely bares it all in this book, going through the many mixed emotions she felt after falling in love again a little over 6 months after her first husband died of brain cancer at 35 After dating her soon to be second husband, Matthew, for a few months, she becomes pregnant, and they merge their families his 14 and 9 year olds with her 3 year old I can t overstate how much I enjoyed McInery s writing This book is about sad, tough things as well as happy things , and it is super readable She also has quite a few chapters in here that feel like separate essays I m assuming they were previously written as such then collected here , but I was so charmed by her style that I didn t mind Interesting thoughts on feminism, parenting, and how you live when people close to you have died. I ve never heard Nora McInerny s podcast, Terrible, Thanks for Asking, but reading No Happy Endings has very much of a podcast feel to it Casual, conversational, littered with profanity and pop culture references She comes across as likeable and sympathetic even while sharing what at least feels like a warts and all tale of the guilt, pain, fears, and longings she suffered during the past three years of rebuilding her life since her husband s death from brain cancer What makes the telling engaging rather than excruciating, of course, is that she mostly succeeds in balancing true confession with humor Also, we learn right at the beginning that the story she will tell us has a hopeful, if not a completely happy, ending.While I haven t read a huge number of books on grief, I have read some, and this is a nice addition to the genre McInerny explores the uncomfortable feelings of conflict, guilt, and remorse which ensue always usually when one has lost a loved person and continues to live and build a new life McInerny has the added pain of knowing that her new family her stepchildren and the baby she has with her second husband wouldn t exist if her first husband hadn t died tragically young and left her a widow That s a lot of emotion to deal with, and in some of the best parts of the book she talks about how relationships with family, friends, and her faith non traditional helped her navigate through the worst of it Loss is a topic often on my mind these days In February of 2018 my mother died of dementia and cancer, and in March of this year my baby brother was killed in a car accident, and, while my losses are not comparable with those of my dad or my sister in law or my brother s kids, they ve left holes in my heart that ache My daughter scolds me, saying You ve got to stop reading sad books and I don t read only sad books , but somehow it is helpful to see how other people have experienced grief As a bonus, McInerny s book helped me understand what might have led my dad to begin dating only six months after my mom s death and immediately fall in love and get engaged I ve been supportive of his choice, of course, but initially I felt like Well, dang , Dad Fifty three years with Mom and you find a new wife in six months Really In fairness, his fiance is a sweet woman and we get along very well McInerny s confessions of her loneliness after her husband s death and her need for physical companionship reminded me that his experience was probably not unusual And when she describes her relief when her dead husband s mother supports her decision to remarry I made a mental note to offer similar support to my sister in law if when she decides to marry again My only complaint about the book seems nitpicky, but it drove me nuts and was completely unnecessary McInerny does not know how to use lay lie and consistently writes about laying in bed and I laid in bed I don t know if her editor left her mistakes with the idea that they add folksy charm to the book, but the frequent errors grated on my nerves Otherwise, though, this is a good story with helpful insights on the experience of bereavement, engagingly presented. Between 3 and 4 stars Mostly I like it, but also I see it like Nora McInerny is actually confident in giving advices that she should be And this is not an accusation for her, it is a setback of the book Because if she wants to be someone who advices people, who have been and still are grieving after a big loss, she should try to talk to people who didn t find another best husband and family and friends and everything so soon Of course, I am sure it is disguised under the mask of this is my kind of experience that I share, but also OK, so what And by the way, the thing that looks like she most fears is that people are going to say that she doesn t love her first dead now husband, if she found love again so soon But actually she might be surprised that people don t give so much thought on that It gets you thinking if she doesn t feel guilty, why she has to say it so many times in so many ways No one cares.Anyway, I like her writing style, and also some ideas, but there is this notion like somehow she is trying too hard convince her me in what exactly Don t know It wasn t necessary to repeat so many times that her husband, the person she loves most, died of cancer brain tumor so many times in the book.Besides that I love those kind of books that share true experience that might be helpful to read for other people. I am a religious listener of Nora McInerney s podcast The great insights and compassion she shows her interviewees and the way she tells their complex stories is the podcast s highlight The low light for me this might not be everyone s experience is hearing Nora carry on about herself and make her own story 1 somehow part of everyone else s and 2 saccharine and melodramatic I m not sure why I thought a whole 7 hours of listening to her talk about herself was a good idea I ll keep up with the podcast because her intelligence and compassion shines when she focuses on others but it doesn t work for me when it s all about her. One of my guilty pleasures is watching the latest season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay, one of the former Bachelorettes, always used this line with her guys and it was about being honest and open with her keep it 100 I think that is why I am such a big fan of Nora McInerny she keeps it 100.It takes a lot of courage and strength to throw your most vulnerable thoughts and feelings out into the world, but that s what she has done with No Happy Endings Her words are beautiful and thoughtful, sometimes funny, sometimes heart wrenching One of the most important lessons I took is that feelings are not mutually exclusive Feeling happy about something does not negate your ability to feel sad about another thing Loving one person does not erase your ability to give love to others I feel some sort of connection to the author because we re both from Minnesota and we re both middle children with birthdays right after Christmas and we ve both been in or around the Rum River and we both had no idea what feminism really was I got to hear Nora read a few chapters of her book and if I could, I d hire her to read me the rest I am a big fan and this is so much than a sad story. I love her sense of humor, and think her resilience is amazing, so my rating of this book doesn t reflect how I feel about the material as a whole I just felt that several of the chapters were somewhat repetitive, and could have been condensed into one chapter, or perhaps focused I still appreciated reading this follow up to her first book, however, and think she s a wonderful writer. I listened to the audio version of this book, narrated by the author, and I highly recommend She basically just says it all.all the hard stuff and all the daily mundane stuff with utter honesty and wicked humor She is very, very sarcastic but also seems to wear her heart on her sleeve Another book that had me laughing so hard, out loud, on multiple occasions, where people in the cars next to be may have thought I was a little crazy The tears came too but this memoir exuded hope that after walking through the toughest of times, there just may be something beautiful waiting on the other side. And is where the good part happens The good part is a conjunction You bet it is Because and is about possibility and opportunity And includes what is and makes room for what could be And doesn t require you to love the situation, or to like the situation it just requires you to live 267 68 Being my first memoir in a LONG time, this was just everything that I needed at this point in my life to read and reflect on Certainly not because I ve experienced the same type of loss or grief as Nora has, but because I ve experienced grief in what I see as having lost something of my career, of my old ways It s tough to lose something that you have held close to you, but what s important is the and , for what possibilities are available.